Constantine

Some time back I told of the episode with Poofy Williams and my problem with his bullying.  My defeat of him in the playground was legendary in the family, and my father maybe took his advice on overcomoing my assailant perhaps too far.  Obviously in his eyes, I was a fearsome fighter and should be encouraged to pursue the noble art of the Marquis of Queensbury.  My father always lusted after sports excellence in the family, never having achieved it himself.

At the time I was about eight and my school sent round an invitation for boys to enter a boxing competition.  With my stupendous track record of 1 and 0, my father immediately encouraged me to sign up.

I had worn a pair of boxing gloves once before while messing about in gym classes, but my instruction was limited to my father showing me the stance and doing a few feints with him; it seemed like fun.

When the day came for registering, I was found to be the same weight as a boy called Constantine.  Please remember his name as I have never forgotten it.  He was about 12, and I think already shaved twice a day.  Whereas I was about six feet tall, he was four and a half and built like a fire plug.

I mentioned my drawing to my father, who dismissed any fears I might have by saying as long as the weight was the same everything would be just fine.  I think it was the first time I perceived cracks in my father's overall wisdom.

Come the day of the bout, I had some concern at the way Constantine moved around the ring before the off.  It seemed to me that he had done this before - maybe in some sort of Federal Penitentiary.  He also snorted like a bull.  At the sound of the bell, Constantine came straight over to me and hit me in the stomach.  I was shocked, and from that moment decided to run away.  It turned out I was a lot better at running than boxing, and I'm glad to report that Constantine was not too good at it.  The result was that the schoolmaster in charge rang the bell and stopped the bout as it didn't seem fair.  Really?  Maybe I showed up Constantine's lack of speed.  My stomach hurt for days.